Sunday, October 18, 2009

Oh, Optimism, Where Have You Gone?

Fourteen rejections in a row since the last positive peep (the request for the full), not counting the ten I just wrote off. Four this week. All form rejections, so no way to divine meaning from them. As the number of rejections piles up and the number of queries outstanding dwindles, the doubts grow. Maybe I can't write. Maybe I can write but it makes no difference in this lousy economy. Maybe I should have held myself to writing a straightforward, banal whodunit instead of going all angst-ridden Martin Cruz Smithy. Maybe this whole writing obsession just isn't worth the aggravation. Maybe I could get rid of it with hypnotherapy or Freudian analysis or yoga. Or something.

Blah blah blah.

4 comments:

  1. Optimism can be elusive in this quest. She skirts around us, leaving us feeling silly for even trying to keep her caged.

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  2. I found your blog a couple of days ago through absolutewrite - I'm just about a week into querying for my first novel. It's nice to know there are other people out there going through the same thing, and experiencing similar frustrations. The lack of feedback, the open-ended and subjective nature of it all, and the disconnect between the query and the book are all maddening aspects of the whole process. But that you got requests for a partial and a full means that at least you are in the game. Anyway, I've added your blog to my feed and wish you the best of luck!

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  3. Lt. Cccyxx is right. It is so subjective. I've noticed that a lot more now that I've been entering silly online contests. The fact that I haven't won any has been encouraging, in a way. It's really interesting to see the finalists, to see what a particular agent or editor, whoever is running the contest, likes. My thoughts always turn to "well no WONDER he/she rejected my query, if that's what they're into." I find it encouraging, because I know that its not that my writing is bad, its that my writing is not what that person, in particular, is really drawn to. What I need to do is keep throwing darts, and eventually one of them will find the agent who does think my writing is the best of the best. That person exists. I just haven't found him/her yet.

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  4. I'm in a very similar boat these days. The form r's are streaming in and the number still out there dwindling, dwindling. Just keep writing. I finished my second novel and am about to start editing that. It does feel good to have something else in the wings. I'm not totally ready to give up on the first novel, but having a second one waiting does help, a bit. Good luck and hope you get some positive response, soon!

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