Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Why 'Avatar' Sucks

I walked out on Avatar.  OK, actually I just turned off the DVD after about an hour.  I know a lot of you will say to me, "Listen, you can't appreciate it unless you're in the theater with the big screen and the 3-D effects and all," to which I reply: bleh.  If a movie can't stand on its story alone, it can't stand at all, and the writing in Avatar is, in a word, awful.

Now, I'm not an anti-Cameronite.  Terminator is a great movie.  I loved Aliens.  I even sort of liked The Abyss, even if the science was nonsense (I don't care how much fluid he had in his lungs, Ed Harris would have been squashed into a pancake long before he got all the way to the bottom of the sea where the aliens lived).  Titanic was tolerable but it foreshadowed the decline of Cameronism: the dialogue was written to enable effects, rather than the effects designed to enable the movie.  I've seen all the characters in Avatar before: the young Marine, the evil corporate honcho, the mad scientist.  And the dialogue sounds as if it were written for 12-year-olds.  Which I think it was.

Anyway, if it's any consolation for you Avatarophiles out there, I was bored to death by the Lord of the Rings movies, too.

Survived the Girl Scout campout by reading a book far from the other parents and just waiting it out.  Still no Fedex from the nice agent lady so if I've gotten nothing by mid-week, I'm going to e-mail her.  I believe I have been patient. 

10 comments:

  1. I haven't seen Avatar either. Terminator is probably in my top five favorite movies ever, but I haven't seen Avatar for a couple of very important reasons:

    1. I don't like movies where humans interact with cartoon characters.

    2. I don't like blue people.

    The movie seems to satisfy both of those.

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  2. Not seen the film. Didn't like the look of it or the hype............ But you were bored by the Lord of the Rings trilogy...? Shame on you!

    :0p

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  3. Haven't seen it. Don't really want to. I also had to endure the hubs begging me to see Clash of The Titans. And no, I didn't go.

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  4. Haven't seen Avatar but I think the problems you point out are true for many movies these days - I never go. (I did, to my surprise, really enjoy the LOTR movies, though.)

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  5. Funny you mention this. I thought the move was over-hyped and I was frankly disappointed. The ending was ridiculous and there wasn't even any sex, and what do they do with those tails? The old Marine guy was so cliche it hurt my head. We watched Cat on a Hot Tin Roof last night. Now that was a movie. No special effects or glasses needed.

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  6. Oh you better be glad I like you. Didn't like Avatar? WTH?!?

    AND, you've got more patience that I do, I would have e-mailed her by now.

    Now, I'm going to watch AVATAR and drool. :D

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  7. I liked AVATAR more than I expected I would. But that's because I had really, really low expectations.

    Things I liked: those white fluttery things and a character who smoked.

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  8. Whichever camp a viewer is in, I think there's a lesson for everyone in Avatar: Stuff we despise can still get published and find a market.

    I think Avatar is very instructive when it is deconstructed into what elements have most appealed to the grillions of people who've paid to see it and then applied to make sellable writing.

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  9. This film isn't on my must-see list. From the trailers, I can tell it's a visually beautiful movie, but I'm with you. There has to be more to a story than its visual effects.

    So glad you stopped by my blog today! We need to visit each other more often :))

    Have a great weekend!

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  10. I didn't see Avatar either. I have no interest in it. And Lord of the Rings bored me to tears. I think I quit when I realized after two hours that it still had one to go. Same with Pirates of the Caribbean. Taste is subjective. If something sucks, it sucks.

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