It's the Fourth of July and I'm home alone. My son's in Costa Rica with a school group, my daughter deserted us to spend the day with her friend's family, the spousal unit is "out with a friend" -- bartender, drinking buddy, lesbian lover -- WTF do I know? Plus, it's gloomy as hell here: cold, gray, wet. A perfect Seattle day. For November. Plus I've spent all fucking weekend working for The Online Man (henceforward: "Tom"). Doesn't anyone out there feel sorry for me? Anyone? Anyone?