Robert Patterson is in the midst of a midlife crisis. He hates his job, his wife is an alcoholic shrew, his mistress has cut him off, and his bulimic slut of a daughter won't move out of the house. One day he decides he's had it and disappears in the dead of night. The only problem is, he's the president of the United States and soon every government gumshoe is on his trail. While Patterson goes cross-country on his journey to discover where it all went wrong, his staff try to fend off his scheming, born-again vice president, who wants to take over and plunge the country into a holy war against the South Asian nation of Zeberkistan.
Somewhere along the way he holes up with a young woman who's got piercings and tattoos, but that's about all I have so far.