Sunday, August 28, 2011

WIP Summary

This is all i have so far. What do you think?

Robert Patterson is in the midst of a midlife crisis. He hates his job, his wife is an alcoholic shrew, his mistress has cut him off, and his bulimic slut of a daughter won't move out of the house.  One day he decides he's had it and disappears in the dead of night. The only problem is, he's the president of the United States and soon every government gumshoe is on his trail. While Patterson goes cross-country on his journey to discover where it all went wrong, his staff try to fend off his scheming, born-again vice president, who wants to take over and plunge the country into a holy war against the South Asian nation of Zeberkistan.

Somewhere along the way he holes up with a young woman who's got piercings and tattoos, but that's about all I have so far.

9 comments:

  1. Man what a hook! It was interesting enough before I knew he was the president. This story, I could really like.

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  2. Oh....I love it! What a great twist: he's president! Love it, love it, love it.

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  3. I like it. Stick with it and see where it leads.

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  4. Really strong plot, Travener; I like it a lot. :-)

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  5. Here's my specific feedback: Remove "shrew" and just say "alcoholic." Change the part about the daughter to be less critical of her - you could say "bulimic daughter" or "promiscuous and bulimic daughter" so you're giving the facts without judging her. Maybe add, "30-year-old ... daughter" to show she's too old to be living at home. The rest is great - very enticing. One question, though - if he hates his wife and daughter so much, would they be fighting for him to stay in power? Why would they care? Because THEY want to stay in the White House? Sounds like a fantastic story, Trav!

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  6. Sounds good.
    Definitely like the idea of a President hating his job and taking off.

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  7. I want to say total crap just to be contrary, but jokey jokes are lost in comments so I'm afraid you would take it seriously.

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  8. I would totally read that. how are you not signed???
    Oh that's right...no vampires in your book...lol

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